Today, while at the Tennessee State Fair, I was reminded of two things which bother me, though in totally different ways, mind you.

At the Krystal burger eating competition (officially called “The Krystal Square-Off”), there was a group of men—some large, some not so large—and a very petite woman, weighing only 105 pounds, named Juliette.  There was one other woman as well, but I believe she was a last minute addition.  Also, she wasn’t very competitive and doesn’t really factor into this story at all.

So, after a very long buildup to the actual competition itself, with long introductions of all of the competitors, the competition got under way.  I was ready to cheer on Juliette, as she definitely seemed like an underdog.  Once she started into her Krystals, however, she ravenously consumed them, much like I imagine Mama Cass went after that very last ham sandwich.  Only, what?  Wait a second.  I think Mama Cass probably got the whole ham sandwich in her mouth, but what in the wide world of competitive eating is Juliette doing!?!?  This may sound like an overstatement, but I am not kidding when I say that I have never witnessed a nastier display of gluttony in all my life.  Most of the competitors on the stage were actually eating their Kystals.  Juliette, on the other hand, seemed to be smashing and smearing what looked like Krystal slop all over her face.  Once her mouth was full, she just kept smacking herself in the face with it … only, with no other place to go, it just covered her face, her shirt, and the table in front of her.  She would then scoop up big handfuls of slop and try to cram it into her mouth, to no avail.  But somehow, when the 8-minute competition had ended (AND she was witnessed by everyone in the audience still trying to pack more into her mouth for a solid 30 to 40 seconds after the buzzer sounded), it was ruled that she was in a three-way tie with two of the other eaters and that they would have to have an eat-off (or, officially, a “Krystal Square-Off-Off”).

The people in the audience (myself included) were very dismayed by this news.  The two others included in this three-way tie obviously deserved a chance to compete against one another in this sudden death phase of the contest (I don’t think it would be a surprise to many people if eating more than 50 Krystals in 8 minutes led to sudden death), but Juliette did not deserve to be there.  And to make matters worse, even though the judges announced that the competitors would have to “cleanly” eat the 10 Krystals placed before them in the square-off-off (with the winner being the competitor who could scarf them down the quickest), Juliette stuck to the method she used in the regulation phase of the competition.  She slopped the stuff EVERYWHERE!  The audience was getting rowdy and booing her, but somehow, when it was all over, the judges actually announced her as the winner.  I was mad.  The audience was mad.  The other two competitors were mad.  Cheating really bothers me.  In my opinion, Eric “Badlands” Booker should have won the competition.  For more on this subject, feel free to view this link.

While I’m on the subject of cheaters, while waiting in line for the Tilt-A-Whirl ride, when I had almost reached the front of the line, these two little children jumped in front of me and the person standing with me in line.  Their mother walked up near to them and pushed a third child into the line with them.  I said to her, “There is a line, you know.”  And there was a considerable line at this point.  She just smiled and in very broken English replied, “Yes, yes, I know.  It’s ok.”  What!?  The person with me in line said, “No, it’s not ok.”  But the lady just kept smiling and walked away, leaving her children in line.  I was incensed!  Maybe I shouldn’t have let it get to me like it did, but I REALLY dislike cheating … especially when the cheater doesn’t even care when he/she is caught in the act.  This was not just a cultural misunderstanding.  I don’t have anything against people from other countries in general, but I do have a thing against cheaters.  She knew exactly what she was doing when she pushed her three children into that line in front of us.  Maybe instead of just fuming, I could have told the guy running the ride that they didn’t deserve to get on the ride due to the fact that they had skipped almost every person in it, but I didn’t.  I didn’t want to be the jerk that tattled on three children (probably all younger than 7 years old), but I wish the mother could have experienced some kind of a consequence for her total disregard for fairness and queue etiquette.

So, yeah, going back to the original topic of this blog, cheaters really bother me.

The second, truly bothersome thing (and really this might more of a fear than a bother) of which I was reminded today?

Carnies.

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